On Failures and My Plans for 2008

I promise… this one will be better than the previous entry… and yes, more serious and with sense.

False: I am now experiencing the writer’s block.

Truth: I can’t think of anything to write. A lot of thoughts are flowing in my mind right now but all are vague.

It has been really difficult to put all my brain waves in a piece of paper recently. Distractions like loads of work easily come in. I am focused and driven to start a piece but in the end, I only have a piece of blank document in my PC’s monitor.

I don’t want to admit that the depression I experienced before is back and it affects my writing capability, but it’s becoming too obvious. Some people around me and recent events in my life are dejection-triggers; they cause me to slump and be out of track.

But still not enough to stop the flame inside me… writing is my passion… and is becoming my life.

I must now try and so here it goes…

On failures

I have said, there are things in life you wouldn’t expect to complicate simplicities. Even if you don’t want that person or event to ruin your journey, they and it would still make their way and cause you to stumble. The only thing that matters here is the fact that for each time you fall, there are lessons to be learned and be charged to experience.

Failure is not a measure of one’s worth but of one’s capability to improve. My philosophy in life came from a book I read which has this line in its preface, “There is no such thing as failure, only temporary defeat. Just like success could be a fleeting thing, or worst, imagined.” We all experience failure ~ some once in our lives, some most of the times while some would say their life is a total failure.

Valid premises indeed. But I must say the last statement is the most coward claim.

I know of someone who has been in the state of giving up for all the failures that he’s experiencing. He did not qualify for a promotion, school (he went back to get another degree) is exhausting and family problems are taxing.

He is already on the verge of giving up; he does not see any hopes anymore. To end all miseries he poked a gun in his forehead and wanted to kill himself. Just when he has cried a river and ready to pull the trigger, a realization came unto him.

He realized: when he dies, his company could easily find his replacement and continue operating. When he dies he would die not fulfilling his childhood dream of becoming an Engineer. If he dies, his Mom and Dad would probably die of headache brought about by his delinquent and insensitive siblings.

But the best realizations are: When he dies, he won’t be pleasing to look at in his coffin. And by the other, if it's not yet his time and he was saved and hospitalized, how would he pay the hospital bills if he is to recuperate. Immediately, he put the gun down.

You see, life in itself is a profit-generating business and the ways we spend it are our investments. To say that your life is a total failure means you’re not a good investor, as this kind of business has no chances of losing. Did I make a good point? Simply put, to invest is to take the risk. But even if it’s a risky take and you lost there’s still a corresponding profit. The fact that you tried and learned something out of the situation is already a completed process of investing-winning and/or losing. Not all profits are in material and in physical forms, right? We all know that sometimes what’s more important are not the things we own, hold and see, but the things that we have in our minds and in our hearts.

Okay, I am now becoming too philosophical. And yes, I am not a success story. But I can proudly aver, I am not a failure. Yes, I felt I am but that was then. As I grow up and mature and see different perspectives, I realized that I am the person that I am now because I was made this way by my experiences and the daily lessons that I’ve learned. My views, beliefs and conduct may not be acceptable to everyone, but this is the unique me. I also wouldn’t say that I am perfect, but I am contented with who I am now. Sometimes, I fall short of the expectations I set for myself and of by the people around me, and to that I apologize. What matters now is the fact that I recognize these shortcomings and from there I take another step to improvement. I always say I am a self-made man, and my failures are primary materials of the masterpiece in me.

To sum up, I believe that failure is just an added word in the dictionary. It only has its definition if we do not realize why the word was there. It is there because to fail is a choice, and when I say choice there are other choices definitely (just try to look for these other choices!).

And yes, to fail continuously is the most stupid choice!


My Plans for 2008

I was so excited to start the New Year and yes, I already have plans. Even if I am experiencing some challenges, I am still definite to push them through. First plan is to put up a business. To date, nothing has been well-thought off. That’s okay, it’s just mid-January. I still have more time to finalize everything. I guess the first and most vital thing to do is to organize my thoughts, plan, and brainstorm. Execution isn’t much of a priority right now. I have some of the resources already; I just need a little push to proceed. Where it’s going to come from, I still do not know. But one thing certain, I want this to happen soon.

I also have plans of going back to school, either being a student of a short-course or a part-time instructor. The former because I want to learn new things ~ may be related to my planned business or not at all. The prize of learning is priceless, as they say. The latter because I wanted to share my knowledge of the HR practice and be surrounded by younger learners. I know I would be able to give my would-be students a better perspective of the “real HR setting and situations in the corporate world”; much better than the theories they would read (and memorize!) from Business and Industrial Psychology books. I know this subject is going to be my forte. And yes, it kinda excites me to interact with young minds in the academe as I feel I am now getting old and daily office-home routine is becoming dull. Just want to emphasize though that I am also surrounded by young minds in the office as ours is a young workforce. But I think I need a breather from the woes and whines of these yuppies; they have been my daily meals for the past three years.

Personally, I just want to live life the simplest way possible. I may not be the best son I wanted to be nor would I be a better brother to my siblings. All I wanted now is to be a simple person ~ may not be better or best, a good one is enough. I know I started the year with a fight with my younger brother and to that I am so sorry. All I want now is peace of mind and spirit. That is, if I am home then I am home ~ silent and serene. When I am in the office, I am the employee who’s giving back to the company every single cent that I am paid for. These are my two different worlds ~ my home and the office. The difference lies on the person that I am in both worlds.

I know I am sometimes difficult to handle that I myself is sometimes surprised of what I am capable of saying and doing. I could sometimes be your nicest angel but could also be your worst enemy. Again to the times when these two personas clash and the darker side win, I apologize. I am planning to improve this bad attribute. I hope not to be in conflict with anyone anymore, for I am also tired of carrying the encumbrances inside me. It surely is too heavy to bear!

Bottomline: I just want to be the person who is living up to all the standards of relationships and society ~ productive and contributory, a good man, a better being, the best person that I could be. What I have now are all plans; little expectations but great visions. Fair enough, I guess.


NOW, who says I have writer’s block? I have two entries here…