Sometimes, I am tempted to send you a note of Hi… for I simply miss doing so. I always wonder how you have been coping so far with your busy schedule. I know you’re living quite an abnormal life and I am sure you really needed a breather; but when I think of offering my company as a way for you to unwind, my conscience is directing me to stop as it is not appropriate.
I couldn’t believe that for the past few months I was able to stand not checking on you. I can now commend myself for my courage to be indifferent, even if it’s quite a difficult challenge – knowing you’re just a message away, knowing where you usually hang out, knowing how you may have been tired and restless with all the things you need to attend to.
Sometimes, when I am walking my way back home I wish I would be able to see you. Probably a glimpse from you would be more than enough for me to know you’re okay. And that would surely help me to go on… and yes, live my life away…
Again, I miss you...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
On being in-love
I had a nice and long chat early morning of Tuesday with a friend who I wasn’t able to see for months. She dropped-by the office to pick-up her last check reimbursement and as always, she treated me out to a big burger and large sized fries in a burger house near the office. It was a perfect opportunity for us to catch up, since she’s off to go abroad by January - new environment and yes, new beginnings. I actually knew of this plan, as I am always updated on the status of her immigrant application to Canada. I know this has been a dream come true for her – living a life away from her usual busy world, a world where she’s to start anew with her Mom, Dad and elder sister. Indeed, even if its miles away, Canada is still a home.
So we shared our usual guffaws in the burger house which only had us and two Americans as customers. I am still the very attentive listener, and she still had lots of stories (and secrets!) to tell. The headline and to my delight, she’s in-love again. And her ‘rosy state’ has been going on for five months already. At last, after years of waiting (and wanting!), my friend can finally declare, “Hindi ako makakaong”. I haven’t met the guy personally but basing on her story, he’s quite a good catch – they were family friends, he’s a Mechanical Engineer cum manager of his family’s accounting firm – and I knew from my friend’s eyes, she’s head over heels on him.
She gave me an idea of how sweet and thoughtful her guy is. She shared to me the story of their first meeting, how she has been awful initially of his get-up (knowing how engineers sometimes dress-up). She told me how ‘kilig’ she was when he fetched her up from her place in Parañaque, all the way from Bulacan to drop her off to Makati as she’s to attend a Manager’s conference in Clark Pampanga. And of course, to make this all complete, he fetched her from the conference three days after and brought her home. Whew! Indeed an A++ for his effort!
Honestly, I am so happy for my friend. I’ve known her heartaches; I’ve heard her story of a love that was separated by her boyfriend’s untimely death and also have seen her cries from a recent love which was not reciprocated (or probably not even appreciated). I will always remember the night when she called me crying, simply because she learned this guy was out dating someone. I can always vividly recall how unwillingly I’ve been a love guru – even if I myself had love struggles to deal with during that time. I felt her pain… but a caring friend like me should, more than anything else, be a sturdy shoulder and an accommodating ear. Now as I look back, I see no trace of a hurting woman. Now, here’s a girl who have re-discovered the magic of love and the exciting feeling it would have to offer.
Quoting her, “It is really surprising to know that the love you deserve will come at a time when you least expect it”. Imagine, who would have thought that a very career-oriented woman ~ who sees her workstation as her home and her house as her bed, who can easily lead client meetings and withstand more than ten hours of boardroom presentation explaining the company’s SLAs, who can easily shy away credible managers with her witticisms (and sometimes, sarcasms!) ~ fall in-love with a simple Mechanical Engineer who’ll knock her out of her feet. And it happened when she’s off to go miles away. That simply is magic!
To my friend, here’s to a happy relationship with your man. I know you two would be challenged by the distance that there will be, but as long as you know where to put your hearts into, you guys should not be shaken. Be not afraid of the bumps, they’ll be fuels to keep you on the journey. Be not afraid of your differences, they’re icings on the cake. Be not afraid to love, just continue doing so.
To my friend’s Manu, thanks for painting a wide smile to her weary face. I’m sure you’ll treasure her the same way she has been special to me and to the rest of her family and friends. Typically, she’s not liked, she’s not admired and she’s not emulated. But she’s simply our bitch ~ the dear who made us laugh, made us cry and the girl who made us appreciate the beauty of her bitchy soulJ. Promise us, you’ll love her… and be the source of her strength.
To me, here’s to more patience in waiting. Again, “It is really surprising to know that the love you deserve will come at a time when you least expect it”. And when that time comes, I’m sure to be ready and accepting – the who and the what do not matter anymore, the person would simply be God’s gift to me. In His Time… in His Glorious Time!
So we shared our usual guffaws in the burger house which only had us and two Americans as customers. I am still the very attentive listener, and she still had lots of stories (and secrets!) to tell. The headline and to my delight, she’s in-love again. And her ‘rosy state’ has been going on for five months already. At last, after years of waiting (and wanting!), my friend can finally declare, “Hindi ako makakaong”. I haven’t met the guy personally but basing on her story, he’s quite a good catch – they were family friends, he’s a Mechanical Engineer cum manager of his family’s accounting firm – and I knew from my friend’s eyes, she’s head over heels on him.
She gave me an idea of how sweet and thoughtful her guy is. She shared to me the story of their first meeting, how she has been awful initially of his get-up (knowing how engineers sometimes dress-up). She told me how ‘kilig’ she was when he fetched her up from her place in Parañaque, all the way from Bulacan to drop her off to Makati as she’s to attend a Manager’s conference in Clark Pampanga. And of course, to make this all complete, he fetched her from the conference three days after and brought her home. Whew! Indeed an A++ for his effort!
Honestly, I am so happy for my friend. I’ve known her heartaches; I’ve heard her story of a love that was separated by her boyfriend’s untimely death and also have seen her cries from a recent love which was not reciprocated (or probably not even appreciated). I will always remember the night when she called me crying, simply because she learned this guy was out dating someone. I can always vividly recall how unwillingly I’ve been a love guru – even if I myself had love struggles to deal with during that time. I felt her pain… but a caring friend like me should, more than anything else, be a sturdy shoulder and an accommodating ear. Now as I look back, I see no trace of a hurting woman. Now, here’s a girl who have re-discovered the magic of love and the exciting feeling it would have to offer.
Quoting her, “It is really surprising to know that the love you deserve will come at a time when you least expect it”. Imagine, who would have thought that a very career-oriented woman ~ who sees her workstation as her home and her house as her bed, who can easily lead client meetings and withstand more than ten hours of boardroom presentation explaining the company’s SLAs, who can easily shy away credible managers with her witticisms (and sometimes, sarcasms!) ~ fall in-love with a simple Mechanical Engineer who’ll knock her out of her feet. And it happened when she’s off to go miles away. That simply is magic!
To my friend, here’s to a happy relationship with your man. I know you two would be challenged by the distance that there will be, but as long as you know where to put your hearts into, you guys should not be shaken. Be not afraid of the bumps, they’ll be fuels to keep you on the journey. Be not afraid of your differences, they’re icings on the cake. Be not afraid to love, just continue doing so.
To my friend’s Manu, thanks for painting a wide smile to her weary face. I’m sure you’ll treasure her the same way she has been special to me and to the rest of her family and friends. Typically, she’s not liked, she’s not admired and she’s not emulated. But she’s simply our bitch ~ the dear who made us laugh, made us cry and the girl who made us appreciate the beauty of her bitchy soulJ. Promise us, you’ll love her… and be the source of her strength.
To me, here’s to more patience in waiting. Again, “It is really surprising to know that the love you deserve will come at a time when you least expect it”. And when that time comes, I’m sure to be ready and accepting – the who and the what do not matter anymore, the person would simply be God’s gift to me. In His Time… in His Glorious Time!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Why not an alter-ego?
When I decided to make my own blog site, I was told by dear friends it would be better if I create an alter-ego and hide my real identity to the readers. They told me that majority of popular bloggers were not really known to their avid fans and it is more appealing if it’ll be kept that way; the more curious the readers are as to who the writer is, the more the blog’s becoming more exciting.
I said why not? Back then, I initially thought the character that I’ll create is that of a college professor. My reason? I was thinking I could give justice to it, and somehow, would be a clue to close friends of my real identity; after all, they really thought I would be an educator. I thought I’ll be a professor of Economics (hmmm… why Econ specifically?), who’s in-love with a Computer Science student (why again?) but ended up with a college undergrad (hehehe). But last minute decision was not to create a doppelganger, to my very nature of candidness, spontaneity, honesty and tact, I would have to be my own self…. and it sure paid off. I was able to pour my emotions freely, easily and comfortably. And yes, was still able to stir up interest to my readers (my colleagues in the office actually).
And so I was able to post twenty messages already, with my day-to-day experience as my stimulant. I know some of my writings aren’t that compelling or appealing, but I know some of you have been waiting for my next posting after the other, especially when I’m writing the story of my love affair (or is it with an s?). Just because I am not that vocal about this topic in the office and even to my friends, you were thinking I will share my thoughts and feelings through this humble site (ouch, someone spanked me!). And yes, occasionally I write them down just like with the last posting prior to this one. (Hmm… probably you’re wondering as to who this person is. A clue: browse my Friendster Account; my current apple of the eye isn’t there hahaha! Give it to me, baby! That’s something private!)
Now that I was able to at least attain my goal - and that is to simply write and stir up interest to at least a handful - I’d say alter-egos aren’t at all times effective. It may be to some or majority of the bloggers but not on me. Perhaps if I chose to create a character, I would be able to post only a few postings (perhaps three to five as the most); for I am not really that imaginative and I know I won’t be able to weave stories of personalities not totally known to me. At least I now feel the satisfaction, even if I’m also risking the possibility of my family members reading this site and compromising my “chuvachuchu” with ahmmmm, private nga eh!
Best said, I am a writer of my own mind and my own world. I am letting you hear the flouted whimpers… of my derisive soul… and a shadow of my being would not at all be a help. If I remain to be silent on some issues, I apologize… but also, thanks for reading this. You added one to my viewing count.
Till next ish… Happy weekend chuvachuhu.
I said why not? Back then, I initially thought the character that I’ll create is that of a college professor. My reason? I was thinking I could give justice to it, and somehow, would be a clue to close friends of my real identity; after all, they really thought I would be an educator. I thought I’ll be a professor of Economics (hmmm… why Econ specifically?), who’s in-love with a Computer Science student (why again?) but ended up with a college undergrad (hehehe). But last minute decision was not to create a doppelganger, to my very nature of candidness, spontaneity, honesty and tact, I would have to be my own self…. and it sure paid off. I was able to pour my emotions freely, easily and comfortably. And yes, was still able to stir up interest to my readers (my colleagues in the office actually).
And so I was able to post twenty messages already, with my day-to-day experience as my stimulant. I know some of my writings aren’t that compelling or appealing, but I know some of you have been waiting for my next posting after the other, especially when I’m writing the story of my love affair (or is it with an s?). Just because I am not that vocal about this topic in the office and even to my friends, you were thinking I will share my thoughts and feelings through this humble site (ouch, someone spanked me!). And yes, occasionally I write them down just like with the last posting prior to this one. (Hmm… probably you’re wondering as to who this person is. A clue: browse my Friendster Account; my current apple of the eye isn’t there hahaha! Give it to me, baby! That’s something private!)
Now that I was able to at least attain my goal - and that is to simply write and stir up interest to at least a handful - I’d say alter-egos aren’t at all times effective. It may be to some or majority of the bloggers but not on me. Perhaps if I chose to create a character, I would be able to post only a few postings (perhaps three to five as the most); for I am not really that imaginative and I know I won’t be able to weave stories of personalities not totally known to me. At least I now feel the satisfaction, even if I’m also risking the possibility of my family members reading this site and compromising my “chuvachuchu” with ahmmmm, private nga eh!
Best said, I am a writer of my own mind and my own world. I am letting you hear the flouted whimpers… of my derisive soul… and a shadow of my being would not at all be a help. If I remain to be silent on some issues, I apologize… but also, thanks for reading this. You added one to my viewing count.
Till next ish… Happy weekend chuvachuhu.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Ode to You
The chance of knowing you was the last thing I expected. Back then, I was in the state of mending a wounded heart. You have been around for quite some time but I have never felt your existence until you made your first move – by sending me an e-mail of Hello. Unwillingly, I sent my reply of Hi. You asked my number and I gave it… and yes, we exchanged messages till the wee hours of the morning, when we’re both supposed to have slept in preparation of our day’s work. At first, I was kinda annoyed, but eventually, I liked your openness and your bravery to tell me all things which I should not at all be aware of… Unconsciously, I also have shared some info I have kept a secret for quite some time. With your help, I regained my energies.
Admittedly, it isn’t a good thing to divert all my angst on you but purposely I did it, simply because your presence has helped me in my healing process. You have inspired me to re-focus my attention to my work, my family, my life and yes, to YOU… and you, alone. My days always start with you offering a share on your boring breakfast (as your office’s canteen offer the same set of menu day-by-day). My nights end with you sending your “Good Night, Sleep Tight” more than a hundred times. And my voyage to dreamland will not be complete without your winsome smile embedded on my subconscious. Until one fine day upon waking up, I realized that you have been a part of my system, a sure delight to my daily living. That morning, I recognized the same exciting feeling… I knew I’m in love again.
Admittedly, it isn’t a good thing to divert all my angst on you but purposely I did it, simply because your presence has helped me in my healing process. You have inspired me to re-focus my attention to my work, my family, my life and yes, to YOU… and you, alone. My days always start with you offering a share on your boring breakfast (as your office’s canteen offer the same set of menu day-by-day). My nights end with you sending your “Good Night, Sleep Tight” more than a hundred times. And my voyage to dreamland will not be complete without your winsome smile embedded on my subconscious. Until one fine day upon waking up, I realized that you have been a part of my system, a sure delight to my daily living. That morning, I recognized the same exciting feeling… I knew I’m in love again.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Not so techy
I compelled myself to stay awake the whole night Sunday to accomplish two things: first, to prepare myself as I will go the night shift schedule on Monday (November 05) and second, to finish printing our Christmas Party invites which are set to be distributed soon so our target guests would be able to block their schedules. It’s somehow unpopular as our Christmas Party this year will be held on a Sunday, and that is December 09. As to why we chose a Sunday, please do not blame me or any of my team members. Due to my lackadaisical attitude (I started scouting for venues only mid-August), our dream venues like One Esplanade and Le Pavilion were all booked since June for all Saturdays of December. Tsk tsk! It slipped my mind and didn’t realize that December’s really a peak season for Christmas Parties and weddings. So when I was already half-hearted to make a reservation with a bar somewhere in the Fort Bonifacio area, my team member Gerry chanced upon this elegant venue in the web. And so we did an ocular inspection and alas, right there and then made a deal! We will have our 2007 Christmas Party in the The Blue Leaf Events Pavilion! (http://www.theblueleaf.com.ph)
Next thing to scout… the caterer! Blue Leaf has its accredited caterers and so we’re obliged to get one from this list. I first met with two reps from a well-known catering company to government offices and was almost final with our deal. But somewhere along the negotiation, we were not able to agree on the price (and since my friend Ryan Salamat) told me the caterer’s isn’t really good, I chose the other famous (and yes, better!) caterer. Thanks to the good feedback I heard from Tintin Bersola (nah, we’re not that close!), to the good selling spiels of their Marketing Person Rod Ocampo and to the mouth-watering food they served us during the food tasting, we finally chose Josiah’s Catering. And yes, I highly recommend them! Check their website (http://josiahcatering.com/new/modules/content/index.php?id=1) for further info.
Almost done… and now some dirty jobs. I immediately met my Great Place to Work Council members to inform them about the details of the party (the date, the venue and the caterer) and of course to get their thoughts as to what gimmickry we will stage on this exciting event. My proposal of a Chorale Singing Contest was unanimously accepted. Thanks to Queenie and Pong for backing me up! I made up committees and assigned its members and told everybody that once and for all, I wanna experience the party and really enjoy. (Nothing in the past three Christmas Parties I had with Project Black Pearl I enjoyed fully as I am always part of the Organizing Committee, if you can call our former People Matters Trio a committee at all!). They all agreed and so I was relieved. Abby and Ever will order the Christmas GCs; Migs, Pong and Mar to host the event; Gerry to coordinate with Blue Leaf and Josiah for final details; Queenie, Wang, Francesca and Marky to handle the program; Iche to draft the teaser and the invites; and the rest of the GP2WC members to man the registration table and be the ushers and usherettes. Hmmm, I can smell a relaxing evening for me!
And so all things are plan and settled and we’re now just waiting for the night! And since my printer isn’t done yet printing the 350 pieces of invites, I decided to tick the keyboards once more to write something. But actually, I didn’t have a good start; I forgot how to replace the ink cartridge… hmp! Blame it to my ignorance to technical stuffs… and my impatience to read manuals… But I finally learned it through making “kalikot”. Gosh!!! During these times, I wish have my techy friend with me. He who knows everything about computers. He who knows how to troubleshoot almost everything. And he knows how to bear with my ignorance on these technical things. I really hate it… and I can almost hear my friend laughing on me!!! Keber ko, mas matalino naman ako sa iyo wahaha!!!
Next thing to scout… the caterer! Blue Leaf has its accredited caterers and so we’re obliged to get one from this list. I first met with two reps from a well-known catering company to government offices and was almost final with our deal. But somewhere along the negotiation, we were not able to agree on the price (and since my friend Ryan Salamat) told me the caterer’s isn’t really good, I chose the other famous (and yes, better!) caterer. Thanks to the good feedback I heard from Tintin Bersola (nah, we’re not that close!), to the good selling spiels of their Marketing Person Rod Ocampo and to the mouth-watering food they served us during the food tasting, we finally chose Josiah’s Catering. And yes, I highly recommend them! Check their website (http://josiahcatering.com/new/modules/content/index.php?id=1) for further info.
Almost done… and now some dirty jobs. I immediately met my Great Place to Work Council members to inform them about the details of the party (the date, the venue and the caterer) and of course to get their thoughts as to what gimmickry we will stage on this exciting event. My proposal of a Chorale Singing Contest was unanimously accepted. Thanks to Queenie and Pong for backing me up! I made up committees and assigned its members and told everybody that once and for all, I wanna experience the party and really enjoy. (Nothing in the past three Christmas Parties I had with Project Black Pearl I enjoyed fully as I am always part of the Organizing Committee, if you can call our former People Matters Trio a committee at all!). They all agreed and so I was relieved. Abby and Ever will order the Christmas GCs; Migs, Pong and Mar to host the event; Gerry to coordinate with Blue Leaf and Josiah for final details; Queenie, Wang, Francesca and Marky to handle the program; Iche to draft the teaser and the invites; and the rest of the GP2WC members to man the registration table and be the ushers and usherettes. Hmmm, I can smell a relaxing evening for me!
And so all things are plan and settled and we’re now just waiting for the night! And since my printer isn’t done yet printing the 350 pieces of invites, I decided to tick the keyboards once more to write something. But actually, I didn’t have a good start; I forgot how to replace the ink cartridge… hmp! Blame it to my ignorance to technical stuffs… and my impatience to read manuals… But I finally learned it through making “kalikot”. Gosh!!! During these times, I wish have my techy friend with me. He who knows everything about computers. He who knows how to troubleshoot almost everything. And he knows how to bear with my ignorance on these technical things. I really hate it… and I can almost hear my friend laughing on me!!! Keber ko, mas matalino naman ako sa iyo wahaha!!!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Family Matters
I am always proud of my kinfolk, at least on the first degree level; we may not be as powerful and wealthy as other families would be but one thing certain, we know how to define the word family in its most complex meaning. I am always delighted to see how my Mom and her siblings were brought up by a sugar plantation employee and a plain housewife. They were a big family but the love for each other comes along with the size. Of course, there had been misunderstandings and fights, petty and significant; but at the end of the day, they could easily manifest the famous aphorism, “Blood is thicker than water”.
You see, my uncle ran for the Chairmanship on the recently concluded Barangay elections. Unfortunately, he lost for reasons my uncles and aunts know clearly. But despite the loss, they were again able to instill in our minds (their children) the value of joining hands altogether to achieve a certain goal. They were able to teach us the greatest lesson of being a family – that even if there are differences and clashes – a family is always a family. And humbly speaking, we were one as a family in this failure.
We wouldn’t be hypocrites, we were saddened by the election’s turnout; but we were more than joyful to know as to who among our neighbors and relatives are clearly in support of us - politically, socially and personally. I hate to say this, there were second degree cousins and relatives who betrayed us; what’s worst, these are the guys my grandparents especially my Grandma have treated well and their own. But then again, we can’t simply please everybody. And I am shameful of them; their own self and what they have done – they whose principles can be bought by a thousand peso, a jar of cheap alcohol or simply by a bet to illegal gambling games (a real bullshit to the game of politics!) – they who can sacrifice the good relationships they were able to foster with my uncles, aunts and grandparents for many generations – they who simply have sold the ties that bonded us – our own blood and flesh. Again, shame on them!
We may have our grudges, but sooner or later, these will all pass. I know my uncle have realized where he should better position himself. I just hope that those who have beaten us as a clan would have the asses to face us all when time of vengeance comes. I know I’m not aware of the whole story for I live not on the same barrio, but I don’t need to know all the details for me to understand the whole picture. All I know and understand now is that this most recent election has proven us as a family that we have given a good fight – a very fair fight – not on our opponents but most specially, to the blood that has been the source of my inspiration and pride. And with this I declare, I will always be proud of being a member of the VILLANUEVA CLAN.
Peace be to all!!!
You see, my uncle ran for the Chairmanship on the recently concluded Barangay elections. Unfortunately, he lost for reasons my uncles and aunts know clearly. But despite the loss, they were again able to instill in our minds (their children) the value of joining hands altogether to achieve a certain goal. They were able to teach us the greatest lesson of being a family – that even if there are differences and clashes – a family is always a family. And humbly speaking, we were one as a family in this failure.
We wouldn’t be hypocrites, we were saddened by the election’s turnout; but we were more than joyful to know as to who among our neighbors and relatives are clearly in support of us - politically, socially and personally. I hate to say this, there were second degree cousins and relatives who betrayed us; what’s worst, these are the guys my grandparents especially my Grandma have treated well and their own. But then again, we can’t simply please everybody. And I am shameful of them; their own self and what they have done – they whose principles can be bought by a thousand peso, a jar of cheap alcohol or simply by a bet to illegal gambling games (a real bullshit to the game of politics!) – they who can sacrifice the good relationships they were able to foster with my uncles, aunts and grandparents for many generations – they who simply have sold the ties that bonded us – our own blood and flesh. Again, shame on them!
We may have our grudges, but sooner or later, these will all pass. I know my uncle have realized where he should better position himself. I just hope that those who have beaten us as a clan would have the asses to face us all when time of vengeance comes. I know I’m not aware of the whole story for I live not on the same barrio, but I don’t need to know all the details for me to understand the whole picture. All I know and understand now is that this most recent election has proven us as a family that we have given a good fight – a very fair fight – not on our opponents but most specially, to the blood that has been the source of my inspiration and pride. And with this I declare, I will always be proud of being a member of the VILLANUEVA CLAN.
Peace be to all!!!
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