It all started here...

This is quite an old blog...

I remember I wrote this one on April 14, 2007, the day before our AHPI 2007 Summer Outing in Sta. Maria, Bulacan. This was written purely because I was hurting then, but mind you, tinatawanan ko sia ngayon...

And I must say, this started everything... This somehow is the spark that has awaken the hibernating writer in me. Though I know this one's the most famous, controversial, intriguing and well-loved, I hope I can write the same kind of masterpiece again (you can check some other blogs on my friendster account, http://profiles.friendster.com/adrianmanay) ... not because I am hurting still, but because I wanted to hone the skill that I inherited from my departed Grandma (arte?)... when before I was just the orator of her pieces, I am now the writer... and yes, I'll take this seriously, now that I again have accepted the challenge of the pen...

Friends, read on...

Day 1... The Art of Letting Go
by Adrian Manay



Last night, was basically my "Friday, the 13th"... It didn't start good... I waited again for more than 30 minutes... for the nth time, hindi sia sumipot sa oras ng usapan... then i learned, may pinuntahan pala siya prior to our meeting...

We had our dinner... masama pakiramdam niya... hindi makausap ng matino... I've been the usual most patient pal... but I was really really nervous... coz I know that this is the night when it really had to end...

Dinner ended... we're fighting as to where to go next... we decided to have some coffee... and doon ko napinasabog... ibinigay ko na ang sabi ko ibibigay ko sa kaniya... isang simpleng sulat na naglalaman ng lahat ng emosyon at galit na kinimkim ko ng matagal. Binasa niya lang ng tahimik, nilukot, at itinapon. Pinulot ko at inutusan siyang tapusin ang pagbabasa... ginawa naman niya... but the agitation was there... the anger was felt... maybe because huli na siya... at tama lahat ng sinulat ko...

Sa galit, nagwalk-out siya... ni hindi natapos ang kapeng inorder niya... ni hindi nga nabawasan man lang... I being an insane person, humabol... pero hindi ko kayang talunin ang isang track and field athlete... naiwan ako... pabalik- balik sa bakanteng lote kung saan siya nawala bigla... nagtatago ata... knowing how poor my eyesight is, alam niyang hindi ko siya makikita... or probably nakatakbong bigla doon sa subdivision na restricted... na obviously, wala ako access...I decided to leave and go... until nakareceive ako ng text galing sa kaniya... message was plain, "Salamat". Nagreply ako, sabi ko bakit bigla siya nawala... hindi na ako nireplyan...

Malapit na ako sa bahay ng may isa uling text message "Ingat ka na lang. Sori. Love you". Sumagot ako, sabi ko "Sorry din, if you were hurt I was hurt more"... Wala ng reply... Tinext ko na lang "Tulog ka na, pahinga"...

Hanggang mag-umaga, wala na ako narinig sa kaniya... maghapon na ngayon... Day 1... kaninang tanghali, nangangati na ako itext siya pero alam ko hindi dapat... Nagplay ng music na malungkot sa opisina, pinapalitan ko... dahil naninikip na dibdib ko... hindi ako dapat umiyak... masisira image ko sa opisina... nagyou tube na lang ako...lunch time ganun pa din... naninikip pa din dibdib ko at nangangati ang daliriko na magtext... but then again, hindi pwede... magfriendster na lang ako...

Ngayon, ilang oras na lang, tapos na ang linggong ito na puro sakit... bakit hindi ako maiyak? Nasan na ang luha ko? I'm really good on concealing my feelings... kainis!!! Grrr...Matatapos na ang linggong ito, mayamaya lang nasa Bulacan na ako... magpapakabusy para sa outing bukas... sana sana sana... wala na akong lungkot na maramdaman... hindi ako mapag-isa... I will be very busy tonight and tomorrow... bahala na sa lunes...

This is my Day 1... I'm learning the art of letting go.