Bloopers

The nice thing about my job is that I get to meet a lot of people almost everyday... different names, different looks, different smells, etc. Especially when I was still recruiting wherein I meet countless applicants daily, I feel proud everytime I get to shake their hands and say my piece, "Hi I'm Adrian, I'm your interviewer for today".

But I must say, the most memorable mark an applicant would leave me during interviews are their bloopers... and I'm telling you, these are bloopers which makes me fall off my interviewing chair...

Here are some:

Ady: Are your parents still working?

Applicant: Yes, my Dad's an engineer and my Mom's a government employee

Ady: So, how many siblings do you have?

Applicant: Sir, ahhh... siblings?

Ady: Yes, your brothers and sisters. How many are they?

Applicant: Sir, I only have a few siblings in the bank because my Mom gives me only a few money.

Duh!!!

Here's another one:

Ady: How do you see yourself five years from now?

Girl Applicant: Sir, in five years, probably I am already successful... I have a stable job, a nice career, a good car and my own condom.

Iha naman, ganda mo pa naman... condom lang kailangan mo pa maghintay ng five years para lang makabili...

One classic piece:

Ady: So how did you learn that we have a vacancy here?

Applicant: Sir, I just go jay-walking.

Toink!!! Buti hindi ka pinakanta ng Lupang Hinirang ng guard namin!!!

I also had some experiences on panel interviews:

Ady: So, ____. This would be your panel interview for us to gauge if you are promotion-ready.

Interviewee: Thank you. I believe that leadership... (some five minutes spiel that we, the panelists were already laughing)...

Ady: Ahm, excuse me but we haven't asked you a question yet...

Interviewee: As I was saying, leadership is... (continued his spiel)

O siya sige na, promoted ka na!!!

May ilan pa na sometimes, umiiral ang pagkabitch ko..

Phone rings, I answered:

Ady: Hello?

Credit Card Agent: Sir, is this Mr. Adrian Manay? We are offering credit cards, with annual fees waived on the first year of enrollment, etc. (the usual spiel of a credit card agent)

Ady: I am not interested po eh.

Credit Card Agent: Sir bakit po naman?

Ady: Bakit, kailangan ko pa ba iexplain talaga sa 'yo kung bakit eh sa ayaw ko nga eh!!!

Another phone call:

Ady: Thank you for calling Accenture. This is Adrian speaking.

Caller: Sir, follow-up ko lang po kung ano na po status nun quotation namin ng Ham as Christmas Party give-aways.

Ady: Ah Mam, hindi po kami kasi interested. We don't give hams as give-aways for Christmas.

Caller: Ah Sir, ganun po ba? Ano po ba give-aways ninyo sa employees pag Pasko?

Ady: Gift certificates po eh.

Caller: Ah Birth Certificate po ba? Naku naman Sir, sayang naman po yun hams na offered namin.

Talaga lang ha!!! Cge na nga, ham na lang kesa birth certificate... baka may mga aliens kame dito.

Meron din mga sablay na email ako narereceive...

Good day

I have a query regarding my member XXXXXXXXXXXXXX . She meets her quality and productivity expectation last march, this is to verify if dhe got passed the IE validation you’ve made. Thanks processor only asking why she have no IE this pay out .

Thank you

Eto isa pa...

Good day,

Ady, one of xxx has sametime access, , but he already forgot his username and password since sametime was face out .What process he could do in order to retrieve access on it.

Thank you,

Eh look at my face, baka makita mo sagot...

At pati pag ako na tatawag, may bloopers pa:

Ady: Hi, I'd like to speak with xxx

Applicant: Yes, speaking

Ady: I'd like to schedule you for examination on xxx and then please look for me, Adrian

Applicant: Okay, so that's on xxx and then I will look for me, Adrian

Wow!!! Galing!!! Ako na ikaw???

Resume din may bloopers:

Birth of Date: June 21, 1986 / Birth of Place: Pateros, Metro Manila

Hayy... madame pa actually. Yun iba kasi hindi ko na maalala eh.

Hindi naman ako perfectionist. Actually, even I has bloopers but of course, I won't dare write them here... It's my blog anyway... And besides, I wrote this one not to offend these folks, but merely to make you all laugh...

This is in reply to Iche's request